Relating: The First Spiritual Pillar

 And do not be conformaed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].

Romans 12:2 AMP

The secret to changing your mindset from quiescent (accepting the way things are on other people's terms) to self-liberative (taking full responsibility for your own life and growth) requires that you erect 7 Spiritual Pillars, the first of which is the Relating Pillar.

The Relating Pillar is always three-dimensional: it includes how you relate to God, yourself and others. You build your Relating Pillar toward God by focusing on obeying the Golden Rule Way—treat other people the way a mentally healthy and psychologically whole you would want to be treated.

As you practice treating people with respect, listening to them, seeking to understand them from their point of view, and accepting them as they are—despite their differences from you, in thought, word and deed—you will have an opportunity to consider how God relates with and to you.

If you are aware and take that opportunity, you will begin to think of how good God is and has been to you, despite your differences from God in thought, word, and deed. You may be led to think about how God has brought you out of the trouble into which you have behaved yourself, and how gently and lovingly God hangs in there with you despite your rarely getting everything right.

Your contemplation of God, as you focus on living out the Golden Rule Way, may lead you to thank Him for His kindness and mercy toward you. If you persist in thanking God habitually, you will begin to feel an emotional attachment to God. That feeling of attachment will slowly turn to a feeling of love. As that love of God grows in you, you will begin to want to please God, not out of your duty to relate to people according to the Golden Rule Way, but because you simply want to please God.

You build your Relating Pillar toward yourself by focusing on the fact that God loves you, and if God, who is greater than you, thinks enough of you to love you, then you must think enough of yourself to love yourself. In the same way that you relate to God based on the deal He has cut with you—the Golden Rule Way requirement—you must cut a deal with yourself. You must treat yourself with respect, listen to yourself, and seek to understand and accept who you are and why you are the way you are.

In building the third dimension of your Relating Pillar with other people, you must make sure that the same terms and conditions—the Golden Rule Way requirement—apply. You have been chosen by God to go in the Golden Rule Way, so your personal relationships with other people must model how you expect them to relate to others in the same Golden Rule Way as well. You must ask God for wisdom to determine with whom you will share your life as a friend, lover, and close associate. As you are making this determination, rely on Jesus’ words of wisdom: “Many are called, but few are chosen.”