How to Get to Effective Communication

 There are always two problems that threaten to derail effective communication. The first problem is Perception—how we perceive the world and what’s going on in it around us.

The ancient aphorism, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” teaches us that we do not see the world as it really is but as WE ARE! So, to communicate effectively with another person, we must strive to see the world as that other person IS! We must, at the very least, attempt to walk a mile in that other person’s shoes to see the world as that other person does. We fail as leaders the moment we are deluded into thinking that what WE ARE is reality and everyone else’s view of the world is twisted at best and utterly warped at worst.

The second problem we must overcome to communicate effectively is the issue of Credibility. In a disagreement, each person believes that he or she is right and the other person is wrong. What makes things worse is that each person knows that she or he is right and can’t trust the other person because of this false knowledge.

The first way to overcome both problems is to develop God-Attitudes about people by: 1) Assuming the other person’s good faith, sincerity and sanity; 2) Caring about the relationship with the other person; 3) Desiring to resolve the differences by seeking to see from the other person’s viewpoint; and 4) Being prepared to change!

The second way to overcome Perception and Credibility problems is to develop God-Behaviors toward people by: 1) Listening to understand them from their point of view; 2) Speaking to be understood and not to argue or express disagreement with what the other says; 3) Starting the conversation from the common ground of agreement; and 4) Moving slowly to areas of disagreement. Don’t criticize, mock, or judge the other person—be as patient with the other person as God is with you!

Finally, you must understand that the way to become effective when you communicate is to increase your influence by mastering the process of leadership development and growth. To do this, you must discipline yourself to work with a leadership coach who will help you to master the art of communication—One Day at a Time!